Denim and Chocolates!

Four stuffed bags and a couple horrified stares from Mark and CoHo later, my closet is cleaned!

I tossed (with MUCH convincing):
My running shoes from senior year (ummm...in high school)
My running shoes from junior year (in college--- way more recent, thank you).
A t-shirt from Universal Studios that said Peace, Love, The Universal Way
A pair of adult Mary Jane type shoes with an ankle strap
A pair of wedge heels that Colleen gave me awhile ago (I don't feel good about that one, but she swore they'd never come back in style. I was like, are you even sure they're out of style?!)
A black and grey striped stretch polo from Kohls, circa 2000
A red bag with a band aid patching up a hole in one of the pockets

I kept:
A Big Dog t-shirt that says It's Not Easy Being a Princess
A boys flannel shirt that I bought at a Salvation Army in Bloomsburg
A XXX t-shirt that goes past my knees and elbows
A maroon halter, circa 2002, with a rip in it that you can hardly see!
A purple t-shirt that I tie-dyed in second grade (they'll have to peel that one off my dead body)

Aaaand, the piece de resistance.... my stretchy denim dress bought in 1997 specifically for Senior Week in high school! I fell in love with it all over again and completed the cleaning process marching around proudly in what I will probably wear to my wedding rehearsal dinner.

And what, you ask, were Mark and CoHo doing this entire time? In between yaying and naying, Colleen was daring Mark to eat old chocolates (from a year and a half ago!) that I'd found shoved in the back of my closet. Just another Sunday night at Fairfax....

Who Cleans Out A Closet

better than Hoops? We should have live-blogged this as it was incredibly entertaining.

Appetite Curbing, Fat Burning Lip Balm: Lip Smackingly Cool or Only for Fools??

YOU DECIDE.

Burner Balm Gets International Attention

Orders Coming in Worldwide for Fat Burner, Energy Booster, Appetite Control Lip Balm

LOS ANGELES, July 22 /PRNewswire/ -- Pacific Shore Holdings, Inc. (PSH), a Los Angeles-based manufacturing and distribution corporation is proud to announce the continued success and fast-paced growth in its Burner Balm lip balm product division. Burner Balm, a natural lip balm that claims to boost energy, suppress hunger and burn fat, recently came into the dietary, energy drink and lip balm arena. The product line is turning heads worldwide with orders coming in from as far away as the Czech Republic, Ireland and Great Britain.

Recently reported by ABC 7 News in Los Angeles, many of the competitors in the lip gloss arena have come under fire about the effects of their newly developed weight loss lip gloss products because of lack of ingestion of the dietary ingredients. The physicians that were involved in the development of Burner Balm fire back with facts about the statements being made. "Due to the number of blood vessels on the lips, product extracts are more easily absorbed than one might think," explains co-developer Dr. David Toomey. Blood vessel absorption coupled with our tasty formula leads to ingestion which gives Burner Balm a double impact and an edge over other products that are currently out there."

"Burner Balm is producing results," explains (PSH) Vice President Joey Valvo. "We are receiving calls and emails from satisfied customers worldwide, our products are different than the lip glosses, they are very gratifying to the taste buds and have a really flavorful aroma, which means ingestion of the product as well as absorption into the bloodstream."

Dr. Allan Kurtz, lead developer and co-founder of Burner Balm tells a convincing story of how Burner Balm works. "When Burner Balm is used as directed (placed on your lips four to six times daily), the product will energize you while simultaneously curbing your appetite. The science behind the product is simple, Green Tea, Hoodia, Chromium Picolinate & Caffeine have all been proven for many years to be effective as dietary supplements. When these ingredients are blended together as extracts into our flavored lip balm they become not only absorbed into the blood stream through the lips' blood vessels but also become ingestible. Meaning, when you place any of our deliciously flavored Burner Balm lip balm products on your lips, the flavor and aroma is a natural attraction for you to lick and taste, thus ingestion of the extracts occurs with taste while simultaneously absorbing through the lips' blood vessels, which leads to boosted energy and appetite suppression. Exercising while using Burner Balm can also lead to fat reduction, as Chromium Picolinate has also been proven to help your body burn fat and carbohydrates."

"Fuze, Guilt Free, and Huge Lips Skinny Hips lip glosses might just work after all," says Vice President Joey Valvo. "According to our research, which is extensive, the average woman consumes anywhere from four to seven pounds of lip products in a lifetime, which refutes any statement made about ingestion. We applaud the makers of these lip gloss products; an affordable way to curb your appetite while looking your best." These lip gloss products don't compete in the same arena as the Burner Balm lip balm product line up. Lip gloss is for women, lip balm is for everyone and at $5.99 for each lip balm, it's no wonder Burner Balm is causing such a stir worldwide. You can find Burner Balm Lip balm at www.burnerbalm.com.

Carlos.

I have got to write about what just happened. And it is not exaggerated one bit.

I'm on my way back from the gym and I notice that I have four missed calls from a restricted number. I'm like, What the frack?! Huntington Theater get off my back! (Love the theater, but those biotches have been stalking me to renew my play package...and I just rhymed). Anyway, I get back to my office and they call again, but the owner of my company is two feet away, so I ignore it. Finally they call back again and I answer. This is the conversation. Verbatim.

Me: Hello?
Mexican Lady: WHO is this?
Me: This is Sarah.
Mexican Lady: How do you know Carlos?
Me: I'm sorry? (without a British accent, though that phrase sounds better with one)
Mexican Lady: This is his WIFE and I found your number in Carlos' pocket when I was doing the laundry and I want to know where you met him!
Me: Wait, what? Nooooo idea what you're talking about. I don't know any Carlos.
Mexican Lady: (Confirms my number). That's YOU! I just want to know why Carlos has your number in his POCKET!
Me: Ma'am, I have no idea what you're talking about. I don't know a Carlos and have NO idea how he got my number. I'm sorry I can't be of more help, but I am at work, so I'm going to need to go.
Mexican Lady: Well I'm going to talk with him about this when he gets home...
Me: I hope that you do. Good luck with everything.
Mexican Lady: ...and we're going to text you later about it.
Me: Um, what? Whatever. Good luck.

Hung up.

WTF?! I am so weirded out right now. First of all, who the F is Carlos? And more importantly, why does he have my number??? I can't remember the last time I gave my number to a guy... maybe a month ago? (Kidding Mark). Seriously, I have no idea what is going on. Am I intrigued about being brought into a domestic scandal? Absolutely. Do I want anything more to do with this? Hell to the no. Will I update everyone if they text me later? Obviously.